You Stood By Me

You stood by me.  You stood by me, when I didn’t know what was going on myself.  You stood by me, when I “kept you up with all my manic energy” (Song lyric by Waxahatchee).   You stood by me when I would suddenly burst into tears.  You stood by me, when I curled up on the floor in fear.  You stood by me when, shaking, I flipped from angry to happy to depressed.  You stood by me, stroked my hair, and rubbed my aching back.  You stood by me, even when I kept the light on while you were sleeping because of my intense insomnia.  You stood by me when I didn’t know if I could continue.  You stood by me, when panicking, my throat closed up.  You stood by me when I played the same album over and over again because it was calming.  You stood by me when electrical sensations pulsed through my body.   You stood by me when I thought I would have to be hospitalized.  You stood by me, telling me, “I know this isn’t who you are.”  Eyes filled with tears by seeing my pain and fear, you stood by me.  We haven’t made it through this yet, but I know you will continue to stand by me.

** Note: I am currently under medical supervision while getting off an anti-depressant.  This has caused me severe withdrawal symptoms, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. **

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Author: Madison

I am a thirty-eight year-old kinky feminist in recovery from Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar type; PTSD/Dissociative Disorder, NOS; Substance Use Disorder, just trying to make it in life. My blog is about my day-to-day misadventures and musings.

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