The Gift of Pain

 

I traded a bottle of Adderall

For a tattoo

I feel his soul

Imprinted on me

Like that tattoo I wish I could erase

Or, just have the ability

To time travel

Back to 1999.

 

Standing in the middle of Alabama

I wished I was anywhere but here

The change in scenery

Couldn’t cure me

Anymore than he could.

 

From Baltimore to New Orleans

I traveled

Hitching a ride,

Jumping a train,

The hot sticky summer heat

Seemed identical.

 

Mama warned me

That storm was comin’

You could feel

The cold red electricity

In the quarter.

 

Seems crazy

It’s been a decade

Since I ran from a storm

Although, Mama always reminded me

natural disaster’s

Tend to follow me.

 

But the real danger

Is in the man-made ones-

My mind an avalanche

My soul a tornado.

 

We couldn’t go to school today, Rose

Cause of the snowstorm

You left me in

Back years ago.

 

When he gives me

the gift of pain

my brain goes numb

and time stands still

I’m still waiting for the Adderall to hit him.

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Author: Madison

I am a thirty-eight year-old kinky feminist in recovery from Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar type; PTSD/Dissociative Disorder, NOS; Substance Use Disorder, just trying to make it in life. My blog is about my day-to-day misadventures and musings.

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