The world spins, goes out of focus, becomes a hazy spark of confusion. I feel like I just woke up from a dream. Fantastic daymares plague me. Electrified, I sit in silence. I can’t see myself clearly, or sometimes, at all. I am disconnected from my life, myself, my emotions. My life is a hazy, black and white silent film. A clock strikes 3am, and I go numb. The buzz in my head is loud—so loud I can’t think. Thoughts feel jumbled and the world feels strange. I wonder “is this the end?” A sharp inhale, and I am flying. Jagged images float past me, and I reach for them, under the substance of reality. Sounds are dull and far away. Vaguely, light slowly, silently filters through as it’s own odd sensation. Simultaneously, I feel empty. My soul is outside of my body. I look back at myself, and I do not recognize myself. I do not understand; perhaps, I am not meant to fully know the pain. I have gone into deep wonder and fallen through the rabbit hole; The other side is mysterious and dark.