Clouds and Dreams are Hazy Matchmakers

257px-Irid_clouds1She envisions the rest of her life laid before her, like a barren wasteland.  She crawls through the dust, choking; he is strangling her.  The past lies in ruins behind her; Ahead, in the distance, there could be rainbow lake.  Is it an illusion?  It glitters, taunting her, and she knows it is not meant for her.

She forgot how easily everything can break. Shattered, she can not find the will to put herself back together once again.  Clouds and dreams are hazy matchmakers.  She is frozen.  Death creeps in, stealing her mind silently.

She tried to end her life the day before her wedding day. She was in so much pain it didn’t make sense anymore.   So much so she couldn’t feel anything anymore.  Waking up, she realized she needed to be strong enough to create something, to make the madness have meaning.   She needed to make up a reason to live just to open her eyes in the morning.

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Author: Madison

I am a thirty-eight year-old kinky feminist in recovery from Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar type; PTSD/Dissociative Disorder, NOS; Substance Use Disorder, just trying to make it in life. My blog is about my day-to-day misadventures and musings.

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