Sideways

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The sound of a door closing, the buzz of an alarm, the ambient waves of a piano

I recoil

Sharp, jagged moods:

pop another pill

sink deep into

Emotional Novocain.

Down the rabbit hole

Clouds of Hazy memory

Float past

Turned down the volume of my mind

The happy demon in my head says

“You are going to die”

climbing up to the 13th floor

twisting in the air

I want to feel the ground beneath my feet again

All these things are true

And contradictory too

I am sideways in the world.

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Author: Madison

I am a thirty-eight year-old kinky feminist in recovery from Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar type; PTSD/Dissociative Disorder, NOS; Substance Use Disorder, just trying to make it in life. My blog is about my day-to-day misadventures and musings.

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