RISK

 

My junky past
can’t keep up with me
punk rock leaks through
the trailer with no floors
an upside down flag
is wrapped around my body
while the cats run wild
Escaping through the cracked plywood.

it was like living
in a make-shift tent
we played an alcoholics
version of Risk
and danced on the edge of death-
the gravel sticking to my skin
down an endless dirt road,
the lavender isn’t real here, Bug.

the story stops abruptly

mostly cause he O.D’d

but he lived
so when he woke up

he said: “I just did a little too much.”

he was my heroin
I was not strong enough
to save him
I couldn’t even save myself

I wrote his eulogy before he left
The story did end abruptly, eventually, on that train.
They said: “he never got over you.”

i always wondered
if there was life
after the end of the story.

i will mourn him until I collapse

Running
Up Up Up

the downhill escalator

if you never take risks Then why bother living?

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The Gift of Pain

 

I traded a bottle of Adderall

For a tattoo

I feel his soul

Imprinted on me

Like that tattoo I wish I could erase

Or, just have the ability

To time travel

Back to 1999.

 

Standing in the middle of Alabama

I wished I was anywhere but here

The change in scenery

Couldn’t cure me

Anymore than he could.

 

From Baltimore to New Orleans

I traveled

Hitching a ride,

Jumping a train,

The hot sticky summer heat

Seemed identical.

 

Mama warned me

That storm was comin’

You could feel

The cold red electricity

In the quarter.

 

Seems crazy

It’s been a decade

Since I ran from a storm

Although, Mama always reminded me

natural disaster’s

Tend to follow me.

 

But the real danger

Is in the man-made ones-

My mind an avalanche

My soul a tornado.

 

We couldn’t go to school today, Rose

Cause of the snowstorm

You left me in

Back years ago.

 

When he gives me

the gift of pain

my brain goes numb

and time stands still

I’m still waiting for the Adderall to hit him.